


Get Along for Her Sake

by CutieInk



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, F/M, Female Mage Hawke - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, anders and fenris wont get along and it's driving hawke batty, between act 1 and 2, everyone is extra sassy, fenris feels bad, varrics a good dude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CutieInk/pseuds/CutieInk
Summary: It's been harder for Maxine Hawke to cope with her anxiety and keep up appearances that she is just fine and when Anders and Fenris go too far, she can't take it anymore.





	Get Along for Her Sake

Maxine Hawke was a patient person on most occasions. She might as well been bred to be due to her upbringing. A farm girl apostate with two younger siblings to help take care of was no fleeting task growing up and often she’d shake with anxiety, biting the soft flesh of her cheeks as she held back the need to break her façade of well behaved eldest daughter of the Hawke-Amell line.

But when it became too much, she allowed herself to run from it all into the woods near her families cottage and sit while silently weeping. She’d listening to the utter silence of her surroundings and reveled in it. No orders, no bickering, no judgment, no fear, just the calming sounds of birds singing, the rustle of leaves as critters went about their simple lives and the occasional downpour of rain pattering on the forests canopy that she so loved.

As her surroundings calmed her she’d fantasize of a selfish life just made for her. Something romantic like the novels her mother had given her; Of a knight in shining armor whisking her away or maybe even her being the one doing the whisking of some fair Serrah. She’d hum a tune softly as she engulfed herself in a world of her very own; she found enough peace in these moments alone to keep moving forward. To keep being that perfect girl everyone expected of her.

These moments usually ended with her gaining her composure once more and making her way back home but if she dallied long enough her siblings would find her and inform that she need to come home immediately, or worse even her mother yelling for her but she needed this time to herself, even more so after her father passed. By then she was an adult and held more responsibilities then ever even with her fully grown siblings to aid her. It became harder and harder to find any time for herself and it would only get worse when the Blight approached Lothering…

* * *

_Kirkwall, mid 3:32 Dragon_

Maxine strikes down the last blood mage with a skin charring burst of magic and with that they fall to the ground finally dead. Maxine breathlessly pierces her staff into the ground with her last bit of strength and drops to the ground, crossing her legs together as she tries to regain a healthy heart beat.

“You good Hawke?” Varric asks his friend while patting her back lightly not to rouse her too much. She waves her hand behind her trying to pat him back but fails too and drops her hand in defeat.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine just…need a moment. Sorry guys.” She feels another presence kneel next to her. Looking up she sees a vile of lyrium being dangled in front of her face.

“I think you’ll need this.” Anders said with a chuckle. Weakly she takes it and gulps it down fast, so not to gag on the thick glowing substance. Almost as quickly she feels relieved and breathes a long exhale of relief and looks up at the runaway warden and gives an appreciative nod in thanks.

“You know you wouldn’t be so broken down after battle if you actually let us do some of the work there Hawke.” Varric chuckled.

“I second that, you weren’t even letting me heal, you know that thing that’s my job when I’m around?” Anders says pointing at himself while quirking his eyebrows at her. Looking at Varric he then points to her. “She kept beating me to the punch.”

“Oh I’m sorry if you boys are too slow to do it yourself.” She scoffs with a gentle grin across her face which fades as a shadow looms over her and Anders. They slowly look up to see Fenris with his hands firmly on his hips as he glares down at Maxine before letting out a long sigh and reaching out his gauntlets awaiting her to take his offer of help up from the blood coated ground. Her face turns crimson making Anders eyes roll as she takes the offer almost timidly.

“I cannot believe I’m saying this Hawke but…”He pauses as he pulls her up with haste causing her to be deathly close to his strikingly stoic face. “Listen to the mage and the dwarf for once.” He finishes and turns on his heel to go grab his sword, leaving her flushed with embarrassment as Varric laughs at Anders almost dumbfounded face.

“Ha! Maker, Hawke you made them agree on something…and me! I believe I’ve just witnessed a miracle!”

“Yes well I’m sure you just jinxed it.” She quietly affirms to the hairy dwarf as she bites her lip in anxious anticipation. Anders rises from his squatting position, not even hearing his friends banter and turns his full attention to the broody elf that was in the middle of pulling his great sword off of the ground.

“Funny how even as you agree with me for the first time since we’ve known each other for, what a year and a half now? You still insist on calling me _Mage_. Which mind you I’m not even the only mage in your company at the present moment.” Anders says with an annoyed chuckle gesturing towards Maxine, leading her gaze back to Varric. “You could at least try to be a little creative.”

“Aw, shit.” Sighs Varric as he looks down in shame as Maxine hits his shoulder with the palm of her hand.

“See? You did this. You ruined the moment.”

“What can I say? I’m better at writing good moments than making them.” Varric shrugs with an apologetic grin to the women who only stood about 6 inches taller than he. Their attention is pulled away from each other as they hear an annoyed growl leave Fenris’s lips.

Fenris is now glaring back at Anders, leaving his sword to fall onto the sun bleached dirt once again. “Well you insist on proclaiming your title as a Mage so often I don’t see why it’s a problem. Besides I’ve called you far worse.” So tempted to tell him exactly what he wishes to call him. _Abomination._

“Oh! So I should be grateful then? Well then yes thank you all mighty Elven Warrior for not referring to me as Abomination no longer! Truly, I am so honored.” Anders dramatically exclaims as he bows to Fenris.

 _Here we go._ Maxine thought as her heart begins to beat faster as if she had been drained of her lyrium once again. _It was a mistake to bring them both, you idiot why did you bring them both!_ She scolds herself as she watches her friends spit words laced with poison like vipers.

“Do not test my patience, leave this be _Mage_ and we can move on. I’m sure we all have better things to do.” Fenris grits his teeth as he gets in Anders face attempting to intimidate him but the human stands his ground.

“Yes let’s move on Anders. Please…” Maxine begs as she digs her long nails into her arms, just wanting this to be over. It was bad enough she was forced to slaughter her own kind today, them being blood mages did not change that fact for her. Now she is forced to see her friends who loathed each other argue was just sending her into panic mode. Something she’d had been trying so hard to keep away from her friends.

Anders darts his dagger like glare to her making her breath hitch. His auburn eyes statically turn blue with mana as he loses himself to Justice. “You take this elf’s side over your own kind you wench?!” Justice blurts out before losing control to Anders. Before he can react, Fenris pins him to ground in a blink of an eye, his markings vivid with the glow of lyrium illuminating under his skin.

“Fenris! Stop, get off of him!” Maxine yells in shock while Varric holds her back not wanting her to get into the scuffle he assumes will end soon.

“T-That wasn’t me. I’m sorry Haw-Ugh, Makers balls get off of me you beast! I’m in control now!” Anders says as he tries and fails to twist his wrists out of the elfs skin piercing grasp. 

“Yes, for _now_! But what of next time, hmm? When will it get through your thick skull that you are in way over your head!? That you are no better than the mages we killed today!” A jolt of electricity runs through Fenris, burning his brandings from the inside. He cries out in pain as Anders gets the upper hand and practically throws Fenris off of him and holds him down by his spiky feathered shoulders. Maxine watches in wide eyed horror almost losing her footing as Varric lets go of her seeing that this has crossed a line.

Anders viciously shouts down at Fenris. “I am nothing like them! I help people; I’m trying to make this Blighted world a better fucking place for my people, for everyone! And what have you done with your freedom?! Sulk in your Masters disheveled Mansion and gawk over our _Mage_ leader like she’s some forbidden fruit for you to devour you fucking pervert!”

“FUCK YOU!” Fenris screams his lungs out in Anders face as a tear threatens to descend his duct from the pain of his markings and the mages harsh words.

“NO! FUCK YO-Whoa!” Anders is cut off as he feels himself being swept off of Fenris easily with an invisible force. As both Anders and Fenris gain their composure they look up at the culprit looming over them.

“Holy shit Hawke.” Varric shuttered a few feet away from her, intimidated just by her stance and not even the terrifying view that the arrogant men lying on the floor had the displeasure of seeing. Her honey colored eyes flooded with a flaming rage begging to be let loose.

“Is it truly too much to ask for you both to get the fuck along!?” Maxine screeches as she eyes them both in earnest. Their stunned silence as they look at each other and then quickly back to her only seems to make her fall farther from her sanity. _Unbelievable bastards_ she thinks before chuckling. “I mean Isabela and Aveline might get into it now and then but I know they care for one another even if they’d never bloody admit it. Maker’s sake even Carver was never this bad with me and…and…”

The thought of her sisters sweet angelic face, bloodied and bruised as her mother cries over her broken body and her blight illed brother being carried off to the wardens interrupts her train of thought. Tears threaten to blur her vision as she pressed her pale chapped lips together to prevent them from seeing her lips trembling in grief.

_I failed to keep my brother and sister safe, and now I can’t even protect my friends from each other._

“You know what forget it…nothing I’ll say will change either of you stubborn pricks. Sod it I’m sure you’re both mad at me now right? Let me guess, because I threw you off a man who was just trying to protect us because you can’t control your own blighting body?!” Hawke gestures to Anders. “Well I’m sure if you were in his position you have done the same for us so don’t you dare blame him for that! And for that matter, don’t you EVER use magic on him or any of our friends like that again or I swear I will make you regret the day you left the Wardens! Is that understood?!”

“Y-yes, Hawke.” He holds his scraped up hand while averting his gaze from her in apologetic defeat. Of course she felt lousy for pushing him and with magic no less, but seeing him cause Fenris pain was too much to bear. But her anger over the whole situation made her refuse to apologize to anyone.

With that she turned her attention to Fenris who scowled at her. She was unsure if it was from the pain or he was truly annoyed with her as well, but her anger was getting the better of her. “Oh and I’m certain you’ve found some reason to blame me for all this. For making you come along even when you always insist on it! Or better yet, I bet you think this is some kind of sign I’m losing control of my magic, yes? That any second I’ll prove you right that even a mage like me will succumb to possession?”

She exclaims as she conjures fire in her shaky hands, displaying it before extinguishing it just as fast with a snap of her wrists, causing his eyes to widen in response before regaining his stoic composure. “Well sorry to disappoint but I will spend the rest of my sorrowful life proving to people like you that I don’t need to be leashed like a fucking Mabari! That I use my magic for no personal gain but to help the people I care for, even if they hate me for what I am!” Her voice embarrassingly breaks as she yells down at Fenris as she felt tears burning her eyes.

Fenris’s harsh gaze begins to soften as he reads between the lines of her vicious words. _Hate_ she said. _Does she truly think I hate her because she’s a mage?_ He could not really blame her for believing that of him. For the past year and a half he had been avid about ranting his feelings on mages. How magic is a power that taints everything it possesses.

Yet he was no fool…well not always. He knew magic could be of use. Maker he’d probably be dead by now if it wasn’t for Hawke and even Anders and Merrill’s aid during some of their bloodiest of battles. Although he had avoided admitting this, he even had begun to see that maybe some were worthy of such bewitchment. Hawke’s prowess and virtue was endearing enough to begrudgingly make him think such nonsense. Without realizing it, he had put her on a pedestal above all others. Mage or not.

The only other person who had not figured this out was Maxine herself, proving quite obvious as she looked in anguish down at him. Before he could reply, she breaks their eye contact and begins to storm off.

“Hawke, wait! Where are you going?” Varric questions as he tries to catch up with her. Not stopping for even a second, she yells back at him.

“I’m leaving before I say something I’ll truly regret later! Just…go home and if you don’t mind make sure Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Dumbass don’t kill each other while you’re heading back to town! I’m…taking a walk before I go back.”

“Uh, y-yeah you got it! Just don’t stay out too late! Rather not have your darling mother scold us for losing track of ya!” Varric yells back, watching her leave his sights before letting out a long sigh. He turns back to the men seeing Anders is healing his hand while Fenris seems lost in thought.“Soo…If I were you two I’d kiss and make up before seeing our fearless leader again. I oddly think that was her holding back on you both.” He says with a chuckle while rubbing the back of his neck.

“You may be right about that… Maker, I’ve never seen her that upset before.” Anders sadly replies as he stands up, rubbing his bruised side. He looks down hesitantly at Fenris who is still looking in the direction that Maxine stormed off too. _And I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you so lost for words._ He thinks as he ponders his next move.

Fenris’s gaze is blurred by a glass bottle filled with a red liquid, being dangled in front of him. He tips his head up to see the mage looking back with his brow furrowed.

“I doubt you’d let me heal you after…well, you know.”

“You’d be correct with your assumption.” Fenris replies coldly, biting his tongue trying not to say anything that might renew their altercation. Yet he smoothly pushes away the peace offering and starts to rise from the ground. “But I do not require your pity. And let us not pretend we are sorry for what we said or did shall we?” He said dusting off tights and begins to walk away when he’s stopped by Anders hand on his shoulder, making him groan in pain. His markings still dull with more discomfort than usual. 

“You’re right, I’m not sorry for what I said because it was true and I know you’re no delicate flower who can’t handle a little bloody prick of magic…but I am sorry about what we did to Hawke and I know you are too. So I’m willing to forget today and try a little harder to keep the peace with you but only if you are as well.” Anders states as he glares down at Fenris who did the same.

Fenris slowly looks down with a sighs and slight nod in agreement. “Very well…but do not expect me to not protect our comrades from your demon in the future.”

“Spirit!”

“Whatever you wish to call it does not change a thing! I will not hesitate to take you down like I did today! Just consider yourself lucky I will not rip your heart out unless it is necessary.” Fenris retorts, yanking Anders grip off of him. Their eyes burn into each other’s till they feel themselves being pushed away firmly making them grunt in unison.

“Alright, enough with the pissing contest already! Ya want me tattle to Hawke that you whiny sods kept fighting after she left?” Varric warns as he points his gloved finger and raises his eyebrows at the elf and human. Anders and Fenris look back at each other squinting one last time in disgust at one another and then take a respectful step away from one another. “That’s what I thought. Now, shake on it.”

Anders rolls his eyes while Fenris groans at the dwarf’s request but they comply. This was for Hawke’s sake and nothing more to them. Anders raises his hand casually awaiting Fenris’s reluctant hand. As they shake on it, they give a tight squeeze as they glare intently at each other before yanking their grips away quickly.

“Good boys.” Varric says patting them like misbehaved pups to which Fenris whacks his hand away while Anders glares down at his short friend. Varric only laughs in response and starts to make his way down the mountain. “Now come on you two I promised Hawke to escort you back to your respective lairs.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m coming you hairy bastard.” Anders mumbles as he makes his way to Varric’s side.

Varric looks back to see that Fenris is staring off into the direction Hawke went. “Hey Broody! You coming or what?” The elf snaps his attention to Varric but then looks down in thought as he bites his lip.

“I…think I’ll wait up for Hawke. I wish to see she gets home safe.” Fenris says as his attention goes back to the other path leading to Maxine. Anders tries to say something but Varric tugs his sleeve and gives him a look that tells him not to say anything stupid which leaves Anders mumbling a “fine” and keeps walking. 

“Sounds good to me, just try not to sour her mood more than the two of you already have eh? Rather not have to plan your funeral because you can’t hold your tongue, if you don’t mind.” Varric requests of his broody friend.

He can’t help but let out a chuckle at Varric’s way of showing concern for his and Hawke’s well being in his own humorous way. “I’ll manage just fine, Dwarf.” With that Fenris picks up his sword, puts it on his back and begins to make his way towards Hawke’s direction. 

“Alright, alright, see you tomorrow if you aren’t dead Broody!” Varric replies with a smirk and finally he turns to descend the hill once more while Anders sternly looking back at Fenris before slowly making his way down as well.

“Are you sure we should trust _him_ with checking on Hawke.”

“Blondie I didn’t see you offering.”

“Well…neither did you.” Anders looked away flustered while crossing his arms as they continue walking.

“Hey I’m an innocent bystander in this mess if you didn’t notice. Besides, this works out well. We live in Lowtown, them in Hightown. Meaning I don’t have to walk a few extra miles today.”

“So sure you don’t need that extra exercise.” Anders says with a sly grin as he begins to calm down.

“Ha-ha very funny. Just for that I ain’t buying drinks at the Hanged man tonight. You’re gonna pay in some way for the crap you pulled today.”

“So I’m paying for _your_ drinks? I hate to say it but wouldn’t it make more sense to do something for the two of them?”

“Eh consider it practice. You can pretend I’m the elf so we can see if you can go without saying something stupid when talking to him from now on.”

“You expect him to do the same for me?” Anders scoffs.

“Maybe not. But you said it yourself. You both need to try harder to get along. At the very least for Hawke. If that means only one of you being the bigger man, then so be it.” Varric said as he rested his hands on the back of his head, lightly playing with the back of his ponytail.

Anders really couldn’t argue with that. He knew he went too far today. They all did in their own ways. Well, accept Varric but he was always the one who tried to appease everyone around him, Hawke being a close second. He admired that but it wasn’t second nature for him like it was for them. They didn’t go through the torment he went through. He had no patients any more to bite his tongue through his oppression… If only he realized Fenris felt similarly.

* * *

Fenris easily began to track the small foot prints Hawke had left behind. He sees they become less indented in the dirt the farther he walks, showing less animosity in her stride. Although glad to see the difference in her step, he worries he’ll lose her track at this rate with how the wind seems to be picking up as the sun has begun to lower.

As he rounds another corner he sees a small figure sitting on an old log covered with moss with their head hung low and their arms wrapped around themselves protectively. _Hawke_ he almost says allowed but holds his tongue and only watches her for a few moments, assessing her state before making his move. She is shaking as she slowly rocks back and forth on the log.

He cannot see her face as her dark chocolate hair obscures it, but the sound of her weeping paints a picture that wounds him. It’s not that he had never seen her cry before, but when she did she was silent and would only shed a few tears before gaining her composure back with time and was back to her diplomatic yet bold self. This…was different. He had never heard her sound so somber before. Not even when she came home after what transpired in the Deep Roads with her brother.

It hurt to see her in such a state but also was rather uncomfortable for him. He was not knowledgeable in the matters of comforting someone; let alone someone who he caused pain too. _Maybe this was a mistake._ He thinks. _This is my doing. What could I possibly-_

“F-Fenris?”

His thoughts are interrupted by Hawke’s hoarse voice making him blush in embarrassment. He looks up reluctantly to see her quickly rubbing her face and nose, trying to look a bit less pathetic. Her eyes and lips are puffy and red as she looks over her shoulder at him. He can’t hide how his face contorts in surprise and woe at her appearance, making her avert his gaze as her face becomes even rosier.

“Is…is it just you?”

“Yes…”

“Oh…are they mad? “

He gives her a puzzled look while stepping closer. “At you? No. Frightened maybe but I’m sure after a few ales they’ll be over it.”

Still wiping her face with her sleeve she lets out a weak chuckle. “I did go overboard on all of you didn’t I?”

“Perhaps. But I’m one to talk hmm?” he says while lightly kicking a small rock closer to her. It rolls near her and she stops it with her scuffed black boot.

“…What are you doing here Fenris?”

“I-I wanted to see you home safe…besides I’ve grown accustom to walking home with you.” He says quietly as he slowly walks closer to her.

She snickers while shaking her head still not looking at him, still trying to gain her composure. “What need me to hold your hand through Hightown? You’re a big boy you can handle yourself just fine without me.” 

“If anyone needs hand holding right now it’d be you, Hawke.” He scoffs at her and taking his sword, piecing it in the ground before taking a seat next to her, not bothering to ask permission.

“Pfft, right like you’d actually-“she lets out a small gasp as she feels cold metal claws wrap gently around her shaky hand. Doe eyed she finally looks at him. His eyebrows furrowed and eyes hooded but intense as always. An intensity others would be fearful of but not her, not ever. “Well…that’s a first. Is this you trying to be the sincere one for once?”

“I could stop if you’re just going to point it out.”

“No, no this is good! It’s…just a rarity with you.” She didn’t mean to sound so matter-of-fact about his lack of affection. She understood his nature due to his grim past, even if she didn’t know the extent of the torment he went through.

“…I know.” He bluntly says while looking away seemingly ashamed of himself. Showing affection was not something he was at all use too and compared to Hawke he was as empathetic as a starved Dragon.

Everyone in their group of misfits had their own way of showing affection towards each other. Whether that was a pat on the back, a tight embrace, a punch on the arm, or even a kiss on the cheek. But they all knew to be cautious with Fenris, even Hawke showed restraint with her physical affection with him comparative to her other friends. He should have been relieved by that and yet he seemed as of lately to desire to be closer to her, to share the same affection she would give to her friends or perhaps more than that.

He feels like pulling away but feels her grip tighten before he can act on his impulse to flee. “I appreciate when you do though.” She said softly, gripping his hand and putting it on her thigh with a weak smile that eases Fenris’s nerves.

“Are you alright?” he asks knowing she isn’t.

“Been better…you?”

“Don’t worry about me.” He bluntly answers.

They sit there in utter silence for a few seconds, neither sure of how to go about discussing any of what transpired that day without causing some form of disagreement. They may have been good at fighting, but that didn’t mean they enjoyed it.

“So…did you only come here to see me home safe?” she asks nervously while grazing her thumb on Fenris’s gauntlet. He sighs deeply while rubbing the back of his neck.

“I-I wanted to apologize for causing you… unneeded stress for you with the mages and I’s quarrel.”

Hawke raises her eyebrow and glares at him while releasing her grip on his hand to fold her arms. It confuses him at first but then easily realizes his error. His hand feels oddly bare without her touch which befuddles him. He almost finds himself reaching out for her but instead digs his claws into his palm and settles his hand to his side with a sigh.

“… _Anders_ and I’s quarrel. There, satisfied?”

“Is that so hard for you to do? Because if you remember something as simple as that, today wouldn’t have happened the way it did.” Hawke scoffs.

“Are you truly blaming me right now for this?” his voice now slightly raised showing his growing annoyance.

“I blame both of you actually. You two act like jealous mabari around each other. It’s cute till one starts maiming the other.”

“I was trying to-” he pauses and pinches the bridged of his nose, trying not to raise his voice any higher. “…I was only trying to keep you and Varric safe. Maker knows what that demon would have done if I didn’t.” Truth be told he wasn’t even thinking about Varric when he pinned Anders to the ground. All he heard was Anders distorted voice calling her a wench, making his blood boil and suddenly he was on top of him.

“Yes and I do appreciate the sentiment but I think we were just fine. You may be our main warrior of our group since I lost Carver to the Wardens and Aveline is too busy these days being Guard Captain to help out but that doesn’t mean I need you to fight all my battles.”

“Look who’s talking!” Fenris finally breaks while quickly standing up to glare down at the small mage.

“And what is that suppose to mean?” she scoffs in question.

“You were a reckless fool today! You drained your mana because you wouldn’t allow Annndersss” he draws out the other mages name to keep to her wishes but in the most annoying way possible, making Hawke’s eyes roll in response. “To heal us in battle and you wouldn’t even let the rest of us take most of the abominations down ourselves! I may be ignorant to exactly how your magic works but I know for a fact you could have easily harmed yourself with how careless you were!”

“Well maybe I wanted things done quickly, ok! Yes they needed to be put down because they were a threat but if it had to be anyone it would be me who takes them down! Not by a man who couldn’t care less about their plight or a mage who sees all blood mages as monsters when many could argue that is exactly what he is even if I don’t believe he is despite his hypocrisy! …I know at least that is how I’d want it to be if I was one of them-”

“No! You are _nothing_ like them!” He grasps her shoulder before he is pushed off almost immediately.

“But I _am_ a Mage! Something you like to forget it seems! Anders may have been cruel with his words but it is true you don’t treat me like other mages. Why? What’s the point?! And don’t say I should be grateful because it is no compliment to be an exception from what you despise! Either you hate me for what I am or you don’t! I am so sick of one minute we are having nothing but fun with each other and the next you are tearing my people down and expecting me to not take it personally! So pick how you feel already!” She yells back now standing as tall as she can as she scowls craning her neck up to meet his gaze.

Her eyes are red with tears and he can’t bear to look at her straight. He looks away and crosses him arms gently together, not sure how to word why he treated her so differently than others. How could he when he wasn’t truly sure himself?

“It’s not that simple. You…you are just different. I’ve never met any mage like you…or anyone who is like you for that matter.”

“I’m not that different from anyone el-”

“You are, Maxine.” Fenris butts in making Hawke look up in surprise at hearing him say her given name.

“…Alright then, how am I different?”

“When we first met, I wanted to hate you. Yes you are what I fear in this world but…since day one you’ve been nothing but kind to me, even when I never deserved it. Not even at my worst have you been spiteful.”

“Not counting today I imagine.” She let out a weak scoff while nervously running her hand through her matted hair.

“It was…justified. You’ve obviously been holding your tongue for a long time. Maybe even more so than Anders and I have towards each other.”

“You may be right about that…you were saying?”

He nods in thought before speaking once more. “It… confused me, even angered me at times how you treated me. But with time I saw you were just that way with everyone. You were treating me as an equal. Something I’ve never been before.” He cautiously takes her small hand in his. “It has been a long time since I’ve ever met anyone as gracious as you, mage or not. So I assume my reasoning is you deserve to be treated with the same respect you give me, if not more.”

“Well…that’s all fine and good but whether you like it or not I’m still a mage and I will always believe that most mages want to help others if they only had the chance too. I’d like to think my family was living proof of that. My father and sister would have never hurt you or anyone unless they saw them as a threat to who they cared for…just as I do.” She sighs and lightly scrapes her fingernails across his gauntlet.

“If they were anything like you I’m sure you’re right.” His words shock her, making her meet his gaze in question.

“…And if more mages were like me?”

“Then I’d have little to fear.” He says, looking at her with such sincerity.

 _Damn him._ She thinks as her eyes begin to water in delight at his words.

“You make it hard to stay mad at you.” She breathily says with a smile, trying to hold back her tears. 

“Good to know.” His smirk leaves Hawke rolling her eyes but with a scoff.

“Hey, don’t push your luck. I won’t allow you to get away with everything you know?” She says lightly slapping his shoulder which makes him let out a grunt in discomfort. Hawke’s eyes widen and she lets out a gasp. “Oh! I’m so sorry are you still in pain?”

“I’m fine. Just still aches a bit.”

“Why didn’t Anders heal you after-“

“I declined his offer.” He answers before she can finish. She gives a look that says she shouldn’t have been surprised by that and then she lets out a long sigh while rubbing her temples.

“Sit down.” Hawke orders quietly while pointing to the log.

“Hawke really I’m fi-“

“I said, _sit_.” She repeats with her hands now on her hips and an eyebrow raised. He glares in opposition at her for a moment before finally giving in with a sigh and plopping himself down on the old log. Hawke’s face relaxes and with that she kneels down and sits in front of him and begins to rummage through her pouch. “And you wonder why I didn’t allow Anders to do his job today. You won’t even take his help when he offers it.” 

Fenris looks in surprise at her confession. “You were-“

“Yes I was keeping you healed so he didn’t have to do it. I know how uncomfortable you are with magic and you seem to only tolerate mine if need be.”

“Hawke I do not need to be coddled. I may not like having to be helped by him if possible but I’m no fool. It’s his duty to keep us alive when he is with us, not you.”

“I know that. But I knew the minute we ran into those blood mages things would turn sour.” She pauses and swears under her breath as her hands still in the bag. “I…I knew one of you would start something after we finished them off and I just…I didn’t want to hear any of it but I knew it was inevitable. So I tried to soften the blow I guess. Just thought if I killed most of them and quickly as well as keep you two from interacting as much as possible, maybe you guys wouldn’t be at each other’s throats.”

“Our bickering upsets you that much?” A remnant of remorse laced in his voice.

“I can deal with bickering Fenris, I had two younger siblings who were as different as the sun and moon. You two don’t bicker.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I can tolerate a lot but I have my limits like anyone else, Fenris. When I saw you on top of him…and then he hurt you I-I couldn’t take it anymore.” She whimpers out before clearing her throat, making Fenris tense up. He hates hearing her voice crack in anguish.

“I see...” he quietly says not sure if he should try to comfort her again like he did when he held her hand. He was only sure he wished to feel her warm touch again and to see her smile. This desire was cut short as he heard Hawke’s hands rustling through her back stop with annoyed sigh leaving her lips.

“Dammit…I’m out of potions I must have used them all.” She looks up to see him cocking an eyebrow at her. “Don’t even think about saying what I think you’re going to say, I already know I pushed myself today.”

“I said nothing.” He says defensively yet with a hint of playfulness, showing he meant not to start anything.

“Yes but you had that smug look on your face.” She circles her finger in the air in front of his face. “I’m not tolerating anyone’s sass today if you haven’t noticed.” She finished, leaving him with a pompous grin.

“Very well.”

“Good. Now we can do one of two things; either we get back to my place and I give you some potions there or I heal you the old fashion way.” She says while wiggling her fingers in front of her. “Your choice.”

He can’t help but smile warmly at that. _My choice_ he thinks _._ There was no way she could grasp just how much it means to him that even when she’s at her limits with him she always gives him a choice. He could not remember a time before meeting her that he was given choices. A choice to reject, a choice to walk away and yet, he desires to show her the faith he has put in her to not harm him.

“Max…” Taking her wrists, he hesitantly places her hands on his aching shoulders. “I trust you.”

She can’t help but stare wide eyed into his mossy green eyes as her cheek become flushed. Her hands, shaky but firm on his arms as she takes in his words of encouragement. _I trust you._ She had feared she would never gain that from him. She could not hold back a joyful grin. “Well I’m glad… and I trust you too.”

“I-I’m glad as well.” He blushes in return. They stare at each other for a moment till the mood became unbearably awkward.

“I will need my wrists back though if I want to do this properly. Not that I mind you holding me close.” She says with a bewitching smirk spread across her face.

Realizing he was still holding onto her wrists, his face reddens even more and quickly lets go while averting his gaze. “M-my apologies…go ahead.”

She giggles and nods in response before letting go of him so she can hover her fingers, now illuminated in a bluish light, around his arms and shoulders. His body tenses at the first hint of mana, furrowing his brow in the process. She almost stops when she notices his discomfort but he tries gives her a reassuring smile.

“I’m fine Hawke, just get it done quickly. Please.”

“Right, I’m sorry. Try to take some deep breathes, ok?” He nods and breathes in and out at a slow and steady pace. With every breath the pain becomes less and less. He swears it almost begins to feel…calming. Magic has been nothing but pain to him, or at the very least a hard pill to swallow but her touch, physical or magical is always so gentle and so thoughtful.

Her hands move smoothly past his shoulders and ghost over his collarbone, making his breath hitch as her fingertips accidentally graze the side of his neck. She pulls back immediately and ends the spell. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no you’re fine! Y-you startled me is all.” _Startling…yet not unpleasant._ He realizes in thought.

“Oh, good…how’s the pain?” she asked relieved.

Fenris rolls his shoulders and his neck, testing his pain level. Although the pain of the scuffle has now dissipated thanks to Hawke, he feels a dull ache in his markings returning slowly, but this was sadly his reality. _Maybe this can never be helped._ He thought as he let out a low grumble. “Back to my usual self it seems. Thank you, Hawke.”

“Just doing my job.” She says with a bashful smile which slowly fades. “And…I’m sorry for yelling at you today.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me Hawke. It’s not like I’ve never lost my temper.” He says surprised at her sudden guilt.

“Even so, I could have reacted better. I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately and I haven’t had time to just deal with it you know? And I know I need to make peace that you two just will never be friends. It’s wrong for me to try to change either of you.” She says while wistfully bowing her head and rubs the side of her arm as she still sits in front of him.

“You’re right, we’ll probably always loath each other…but we did come to an agreement that we need to try harder to put our differences aside…for you at least.” Fenris admits sheepishly, making Hawke look up in surprise.

“You did?”

“Yes and I should mention it was _his_ idea. Don’t want him blathering about how he got no credit over this.” He sees her squint at him in annoyance at that. “…that being said I agreed with him because if we had too on one thing, it’d be not wishing to hurt you Hawke.” Fenris says with a sigh, making Hawke begin to grin. It was nice to hear that they were at least willing to try to be better comrades. This could be a good sign.

But if she had learned anything from her family who all had differing views, was that peace only lasted as long as both parties learned to respect each other’s opinions and/or kept their mouths shut over touchy subjects.

Although these principles seemed reasonable for a family that loved each other, it sadly seemed impossible for two men who cared not for each other and believed so strongly the other is an idiot and that their plight was far worse than the others. She wanted to believe their promise was true, she truly did. But they were only words spoken in a moment of guilt.

“I do appreciate that Fenris. Really I do, but I believe in action not words. So forgive me if I hold my breath.” She softly states as she stands.

“You say you trust me yet you doubt my honor to a promise?” He asks earnestly looking up at her.

“It’s not that I don’t believe your word or Anders for that matter. I just don’t wish to get my hopes up. I fear when I do it usually backfires and then I get upset and I don’t wish to have another moment of weakness like I did today just because I got too comfortable with the idea that things will be better if I just hoped. I’m sure you can understand that yes? Not wanting to be disappointed.” 

Of course he could. He could never hope for more than he already had, which was very little to begin with. He lived in his old masters abandoned mansion, alone and with very little possessions and even fewer people he could trust in this blighted city. Yet it was more than he ever had. Maybe that is why he stayed, because he truly couldn’t see himself leaving and finding anything better.

He may have not been happy precisely, but he at times felt at home. When he sparred with Aveline in the barracks, had meals with Hawke and at times with her mother and her mabari, when he humored Isabela’s flirting and silly games like guessing what undergarments he was wearing, playing Wicked Grace with everyone, listening to Hawke’s stories of her family, teasing Varric of his harry chest while Varric made fun of his “broodiness”, walking home from a long day with Hawke …Maker, she always seemed to come to mind when recalling why he never desired to leave.

He had to admit, he would miss much of her; her strange persistence to make him feel wanted, how passionately protective she was of her friends, family and even complete strangers. They never would have met if it wasn’t for that.

He’d even miss how her lovely face seemed to light up when he’d enter the room, and of course her rowdy laugh that left a whole room silent in confusion because what in the name of Andraste could be so funny?

He couldn’t help but try to get her to laugh like that and feel an odd sense of pride when he could. Even stupidly feel jealous when someone else got it out of her before he could. In turn she’d try to get him to laugh just as loud. He never did, but it was hard for anyone to top her infectious laugh, yet that never stopped her from trying to get a good giggle fit out of him that made him as red as a rose.

He’d miss how he felt around her…he even dared to think she felt the same near him. But like her, he feared disappointment.

“Yes…I do.” He weakly says as he stands and looks down at her. “and I won’t lie and say my feelings on mages will change and that Anders and I will never argue again if we can help it…but I will promise that I will try to think of your feelings before I speak and I will not harm Anders unless utterly necessary.”

“Define _utterly necessary._ ” She says with arms now crossed.

“He’s physically harming you…or anyone of importance obviously.” He corrects himself last minute, which leaves her smirking at him.

“…Alright, fair enough. I doubt it will ever come to that though.”

“Whatever you say.” He mumbles, rolling his eyes teasingly.

“Fenris.”

“Just my opinion. It’s not like I wish to be right all the time.” he shrugs smugly.

“Ughhh, Maker you’re impossible sometimes.” Hawke says as she leans her head back with a chuckled groan. Fenris smirks down at her. “At least tell me Merrill is one of the people of importance.”

“Hmmm…” he hums in thought as he scratches his chin, but stopping with a devilish grin as he sees Hawke’s growingly miffed face. “Eh, I suppose.” He shrugs.

“…Lean down for me.”

“Excuse me?”

“ _Lean. Down._ ” She repeats as she glares at him. Although he glares back in suspicion he stupidly does as he’s told. Once he’s at her eye level she smirks and quickly ruffles his hair, messing it up as well as she can get it before he quickly jerks his head back. “That’s for Merrill!”

“Kaffas woman it was only a jest!” he swears which makes Hawke let out that rowdy laugh that he so enjoys. He can’t help but look at her and begin to grin. “Hmph, satisfied with your dirty work?” he asks as he points at his disheveled snowy white hair. 

She looks up as she begins to calm down and then scoffs with a bashful grin. “Hardly! You still look bloody majestic! It’s quite unfair, if my hair gets messed with or is even a little oily it looks dreadful!”

His ears twitch and turn crimson at her compliment. It was never a foreign thing for her to flirt and tell him how attractive she believed him to be, but it always made him flustered. He didn’t believe it himself, but he could not lie, he always enjoyed her flattery.

He shakes off his twitch and carefully strokes his bangs back into place. “Yes well, I don’t think your hair looks dreadful…at least on most occasions.” He swiftly grabs her wrist as her hand darted up trying to mess with his hair once more in retribution for that backhanded compliment. “Truly though…your hair is rather pleasing to the eye.”

She stops playfully struggling from his grip to meet his soft gaze. “Oh? I always found it rather a boring color. It’s not as lovely as yours.” She mumbles as she twists a bit of her locks around her fingers. “Would have at least liked it to have become black like my father’s…”

Fenris hooks the lock of hair between his gauntlet claws, taking the strands from her and feels it slowly run across his scarred fingertips, sending a chill down Hawke’s back at his boldness. “I think it’s a rather lovely shade of brunette.”

“Thank you…it does match your armor.” She nervously grins and she lightly prods at his leather tunic making him gulp in response.

“Uh, yes it appears so...”

It’s painfully quiet as they timidly gawk at one another. Hawke’s hand rests just above Fenris’s armored chest. She can feel how fast his heart races under her touch but before she can ask if he’s alright, Fenris’s gaze quickly shifts towards the sun that has almost fully set now. It’s disappointing when he looks away but she looks in his direction and sees just how late it has become. They could now hear the crickets beginning to chirp and cool breeze swirled their way, huddling Fenris closer to Hawke for warmth, much to her delight. He still wasn’t fully use to the cold of the Free Marches which makes her wonder if he’d even last a day in Fereldon.

“W-we should hurry back to High Town. It’s scarcely considered safe here during the day, it can only get worse with night fall.”

“True enough…you also seem cold.” She teasingly smirks up at him. He realizes just how close he is too her, as his chest grazing hers and his hand now resting on her shoulder.

He takes his hand away and takes a step back, rubbing his palms across his arms for warmth. “It’s not my fault I wasn’t born with ice in veins like you.”

“Is that a quip on me being a mage or Fereldon born?”

“Hmm, I suppose both works in this case.” He responds, leaving her rolling her eyes but biting her lip to hid her smile.

“I suppose so. Alright lets head out…Maker mother must be furious.” Hawke whines like a pup as she picks up her pouch and staff.

“If it helps I can accompany you and explain why you were out so late.” He offers as he also gets his weapon and puts it in its sheath.

“Oh so you can tell my mother I had a mental break down in front of everyone? Yeah, no thank you. Besides I don’t want her upset with you. She likes you and I doubt you wish to break my poor mother’s heart now do you?” she asks, batting her eyes up at him. Lady Leandra could be a bit much at times but he did enjoy being on her good side, even if meant putting up with how she’d pinch his cheeks on occasion, her cooking and kind words were worth it. 

“Fair point, still if I can help in any way I’d be happy to for you Hawke. It’s the least I can do to make up for today.”

“You sure you’re not just checking to see if there are any sweets waiting at home for me that you can steal?” Hawke smirks up at him.

“Can both be my intent?” Fenris asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Pfft, sure why not.” She snorts. “Come on sass master, hopefully my mother will go easy on us and I can treat you to whatever in the kitchen and maybe a glass of wine.” She says as she tugs at the top of his breastplate, steering him towards the trail back to Kirkwall.

He bashfully smiles as he stumbles for a second before finding his footing again and stands close to Hawke’s side as they begin to take their long stroll back to the Amell Mansion. “I’ll try not to overstay my welcome.”

 _Don’t think that’s possible._ She thought with a warm smile. “Please I’m sure mother will beg you to take the guest room for the night for your safety.”

“She does know I’ve lived in Hightown longer than even you, right?” he asks in an amused tone.

“And that you can tear a person’s heart out, yet she still insists on coddling you worse than I do.” Hawke says with a shrug.

“Ah, so that’s where you get it from.” He wickedly says knowing this will irk her.

“Oh how dare you.” She gasps, making him giggle at her wide eye and mouth expression.

“Nothing wrong with that, Leandra is a fine woman.”

“I know but I am trying to be my own person you know.” She huffs.

“You are…and I rather enjoy the person I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.” He says as he looks straight forward, not daring to look down at her.

“…You mean that?” peering up at him coyly. It’s too dark to see but he is blushing as he feels her eyes on him. 

“Well, you do annoy me the least out of our comrades.” He jests, trying to lighten the heaviness of what he just admitted.

“Oh you know how to make a girl feel special Fenris.” She says sarcastically but does let out a chuckle to show she doesn’t mind him changing the mood back to humorous.

“So I’ve been told.” He shrugs with a smirk that melts quickly. “…but in all seriousness, yes Hawke. I mean it.”

“Ah, good. I uh, have more than enjoyed your companionship…even when you can be a jerk.” She says bumping into him lightly with her elbow.

“I should take offense to that last bit.”

“I could have said far worse.” She states with a wink.

“Lucky me then.” He grins down at her and she smiles brightly back before looking forward. As she looks on he can’t help but glance at her now and then to see if she’s still well. Every time he did, she seemed fine but he wonders if her expression is just a mask to hide her true expression. “Max?”

“Y-yes Fenris?” she looks up with flushed cheeks as she hears her name leave his lips.

“I… am sorry for upsetting you.” He says gloomily.

“I know Fenris…and I’m sorry too.”

“You-“

“I won’t accept yours if you don’t accept mine.” She interrupts as she stops in front of him and holds her index finger up to his face. Fenris may have been stubborn, but Hawke could be as well.

“…As you wish. You are forgiven.” He sighs while rolling his eyes.

“As are you.” She says while booping his nose, making his ears flatten and face scrunch in both annoyance and amusement. He squints his eyes down at her, making her laugh again before she turns away and begins walking again. She does not catch the smile that grows on his face while he rubs the spot on his nose she had touched when she turns.

* * *

By the time they got back to the Amell Mansion, the moon had been illuminating the raven colored sky for quite some time now. As they entered the estate, Hawke’s Mabari, Axel, barked up a storm at their return alerting Lady Leandra her eldest had finally made her way home. She scolded her child while hugging her tightly as Axel bounced around the three of them, begging for his own attention which Fenris heavily sighed and patted the big oaf on the head while he waited for Leandra to be done talking. Once she made her point, she turned happily to Fenris and thanked him for keeping her darling daughter safe, as he always did.

Like Hawke said she would, she insisted Fenris stay, get cleaned up, eat and spend the night if he wanted. He declined staying for too long but could not say no to the chilled apple pie that awaited Hawke’s arrival. Leandra’s only rule was they take the wet washcloths she had ready for them and clean up before they tracked any blood into the rest of the manor.

After they hastily wiped themselves down, Leandra settled them in the kitchen with a big serving of pie, which they thanked her for and with that she kissed her daughter on the head and pinched Fenris's cheek before leaving them be so she could finally get some sleep, no longer having to worry if her last surviving daughter was safe. She was grateful for the friends Maxine had made in Kirkwall, mostly Fenris who her daughter talked about the most.

When Leandra left, Fenris and Hawke sat in the kitchen, eating the cold but delicious pie with a bottle of wine Hawke snuck out of the cellar and enjoyed each other’s company till Hawke’s eyelids began to grow heavy. Seeing that as his cue to leave, he thanked her for hospitality and said he’d make up for the now empty bottle of wine which she graciously declines with a yawn. They say goodnight at the door of the Estate, and Hawke watches him leave till he’s out of sight. When he looks back she gives him a coy wave that he returns with a awkward smile and can’t help but blush when he turns away.

When Hawke awoke the next morning, she came downstairs to her mother saying Fenris came by and dropped off a bottle of Aggregio Pavali.

“Such a sweet lad isn’t he?” he mother said happily as she handed the bottle to her.

“Yeah…” _more like stubborn lad…but he is sweet all the same._ “He is.” She finishes as she looks at the bottle and smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic! If you want to see more of Maxine and Fenris please leave a Kudos and a comment!


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